A Shade of Grey

I used to view homosexuality in absolute black and white.  There were no shades of grey.  You were either gay or you weren't, and if you were, you chose to be and therefore you were wrong, because homosexuality is a sin condemned by God.  That used to be my thought process.  I would hear people who were gay say things like, "God made me this way," or "I was born like this" and my mind immediately rebelled against such statements.  I looked at homosexuality as a choice--and choice was the only option available.

I've matured in my thinking abilities a little bit since then.  I've taken a step back from everything I was taught to believe as a child.  Rather than taking everything on blind faith because other people said so, I've attempted to find valid reasons for why I believe the way I do--and if I can't find one, I've asked myself if perhaps my belief needed to change just a little bit.  Some beliefs I still hold firm to, such as the presence of God, the death and resurrection of his Son, Jesus Christ, and salvation through grace and faith.  I have no concrete evidence that any scientist would accept--but I still hold firm to them for reasons and personal evidence of my own.  But that's a discussion for another day. 

What I want to discuss now--and I welcome thoughts and opinions from both sides, because I honestly do want to know--is a...theory, for lack of a better word, that I have developed regarding homosexuality.

I think, perhaps, that homosexuality is much more complex than most people believe.  I think there are many different facets surrounding the issue and I think there are a number of reasons that people either are or become gay. 

For example....

I do still think that for some people, homosexuality (or bisexuality) is a choice.  Note that I say some, not all.  Being a person that has in the past briefly wondered about what a sexual encounter with a person of the same sex would be like, I would like to think I'm safe in saying that some people do choose those sort of sexual encounters.  We are all sinful beings and I think most people (whether they would admit it or not) are curious beings, especially when it comes to sex.  We are obsessed with the unknown--aliens, the paranormal, what our sister told our brother but didn't tell us--why should it be any different when it comes to sex?  I admit to suffering curiosity about sex with a woman--yet I would never have sex with a woman.  And that is my choice.  I have considered and weighed options and made a decision in how I want to act.  I chose against a life of homosexuality (or even a homosexual encounter).  Therefore, it makes sense to me that just as one can choose against something, they can also choose for it.  So yes, I do think that in some cases, homosexuality is a choice.  **I will elaborate briefly on this in a moment.**

As for those people that claim that "God made them this way," I do not believe that.  And that is simply based on the fact (or what I believe to be fact) that God created a man and a woman.   "God created man in His own image, in the image of God He created him; male and female He created them. God blessed them; and God said to them, “Be fruitful and multiply, and fill the earth..." Genesis 1:27-28.  God created men and women with the intent that through a man and a woman, procreation would occur.  If creating humans in His image had entailed creating two men or two women rather than one of each, He would have done so.  He didn't.  So for those who say to Christians who condemn them (my opinions on which I have stated in a previous blog), "How can you say God is sending me to hell, He made me this way?" I say, "No, He didn't."

But now I come to the crux of the matter.  This is where my thought process shifted.  Many gays claim that they are "born this way."  While I used to immediately argue against such a claim, I now wonder if it might not have merit. 

When God created the world, He created it in perfection.  He gave Adam and Eve only one rule--that they not eat from the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil.  They broke that law and sent all of their offspring spiraling down into a world of sin.  A world of evil, disease and death.  Polio would not have existed before the fall into sin.  Down's Syndrome would not have existed before the fall into sin.  And homosexuality would not have existed before the fall into sin. 

I do not claim to be an expert on all of the studies scientists have done regarding homosexuality, so please correct me if I'm wrong.  As far as I know, scientists have not found a "gay gene" in which if you have it you're gay and if you don't have it, you're not gay.  But I believe that some scientists have done studies that showed "biological differences" in those who were gay and those who were not..  Whether there has been fast and hard evidence that is the same across the board, or if differences have been found, I cannot say.  But I do know that not all people who suffer from autism suffer the same severity of it.  Some people born with illnesses that predict an extremely short lifespan live decades beyond it and some people, perfectly healthy, die for no apparent reason.  Biology adapts, just like everything else.  Micro-evolution.  It's inevitable.

So, is it not possible that just like other genetic diseases and defects that only came into effect after the fall into sin and have adapted and changed over time, homosexuality might have done the same?  And for those of you who are taking offense at the term "disease" or "defect" please, let me finish.  I'm not saying that homosexuals are diseased, as a person with leprosy would have been termed diseased.  What I'm trying to zero in on is that I honestly think that genetic differences may occur that allow for a homosexual to be born a homosexual.  I think it is logical to consider that homosexuality can be a product of biology in certain cases, just as any other condition, such as hermaphroditism, Downs, autism, or schizophrenia, is biological in nature as well.

What really got me thinking about this initially, was of all things, a scene out of Glee, in which Kurt, an openly gay boy who is tormented relentlessly at school, says to one of his fellow students regarding his homosexuality, "Who would choose this life?"  Meaning, who would choose a life of torture and torment and bigotry when another option was available?  And it got me wondering--I wondered if what he asked didn't make sense.  So then I wondered if there was another way to look at homosexuality?  Was there a way for people to actually be "born that way?"  And now I am of the opinion, that yes, in some cases, there is a way.

It would take many, many studies done over many, many years to determine if this is a viable theory.  I'd be interested in finding out what such studies would say.  Right now, I'm interested in what others have to say about it.

While as a Christian, I still believe that homosexuality is wrong, I feel that as a Christian it is my duty to try and understand what's underneath the surface and come to a place of love and forgiveness, as Christ did, rather than spewing hate about something that in all honesty, a person may in some cases really have no control over.  Murder is wrong.  But how do you a judge a schizophrenic who kills a person because he believes that person is trying to harm him, those thoughts and beliefs being a biproduct of an underlying biological defect?

Perhaps the old saying, "hate the sin, not the sinner" is too simple in this case, but at its heart is how I have come to feel about homosexuality.  I honestly believe that not all homosexuals can be thrown together in one bunch and dealt with as such.  It's not black and white, as much as some would like to say it is.

Christ's love is absolute and it covers black and white, as well as every shade of grey in between.  As Christians, I think we need to do a better job of remembering that.