Obviously, I would like to offer up my thanks to the numerous men and women who have made and are still making the choice to serve in our military and give up their families, their day-to-day freedom, and their lives to serve and protect this country. Even more so I thank the ones who may not necessarily agree with the decisions of the higher commands, who do not agree with what the government has decreed, but they serve anyway because they know that as bad as it might be, serving is still "better" than not serving.
A friend of mine posted a quote from a friend of his yesterday on Facebook. The quote was by a person who had previously served in the military and was not happy about his experience. He spoke of how every last one of his personal morals were broken while he served, that he lost all sense of who he was and what he actually believed in.
"...I violated every last bit of my personal moral code during my time in the army and yet it's the thing I am the most celebrated for. I am a black man in America. My grandmother was a Black Panther. She fought for equality and I treated so many people with a lack of humanity I can never forgive myself.
"It was the winter after 9/11 and everyone was angry. I was told I was doing the right thing by everyone I knew and respected. They told me I was going over there to defend my loved ones. They told me I was going to bring freedom to people who wanted it. They told me I was doing it for God.
"For my part in this, I am so sorry. I recognize that I have contributed to the suffering of so many people and everyday I try to live my life in a way that makes up for all the wrong I've done, but it gets very hard sometimes."
"It was the winter after 9/11 and everyone was angry. I was told I was doing the right thing by everyone I knew and respected. They told me I was going over there to defend my loved ones. They told me I was going to bring freedom to people who wanted it. They told me I was doing it for God.
"For my part in this, I am so sorry. I recognize that I have contributed to the suffering of so many people and everyday I try to live my life in a way that makes up for all the wrong I've done, but it gets very hard sometimes."
I hate that there are soldiers out there who feel this way. Let me rephrase that: I don't hate that they feel that way, I hate that they have a reason to feel this way. I know they're out there. And they are probably more than they are few.
I'm not a soldier so I can only speak from the experience I have from talking to friends and family members who have served. My own husband served in the Marine Corps during the time of 9/11 and he has suffered from PTSD in more ways than I'm sure he's even aware. A good friend of my younger brother (and of mine) suffered pretty badly after returning from his tours as well. But I know that they have gone through stages of depression, trauma recall, psychological stress. And getting them to talk about it can be like pulling teeth oftentimes.
PTSD is rampant; it has been for decades. It's gone by many different names and it has been viewed as a weakness, something that doesn't get talked about. But we as civilians have absolutely NO IDEA what the men and women who have served, who are still serving, have gone through and are going through. My great-uncle served in 'Nam and he doesn't talk about it. He won't talk about the friends he watched be blown to bits out of the sky--the only reason I know about it is through the accounts of other family members. And I have watched numerous documentaries showing war veterans of WWII and they are very hesitant to give detailed accounts of what happened to them.
The friend who posted the above quote stated that he because of this, he doesn't look at soldiers and feel proud of them; instead he thinks, "you poor bastard." I don't know if he equates that reaction to pity, but that's how I take it.
While I understand where he's coming from and how he has reached that conclusion, I cannot do the same. Our soldiers do not need our pity. They need our support. Whether we agree with whatever our military is doing at the time or not, we have to support them. We don't have to support the government and the decisions it's made. But we do have to support the individual men and women who have no say in the matter. And when I say support, I don't mean a bunch of "thank you" posts on Memorial Day. Yes, the outward show of thankfulness on a holiday is nice and it lets the people serving that we know personally know that they are thought of and in many cases prayed for.
But these men and women, these husbands and wives and fathers and mothers and sisters and brothers and close friends--many of them do come back damaged, even if they don't verbally acknowledge it. They come back traumatized and stressed and messed up, inside and out. While losing a limb is treated medically and dealt with accordingly, losing one's sense of humanity isn't always addressed. Soldiers hesitate to reach out for help because they are worried about being labeled as weak or crazy. They're NOT weak. They're NOT crazy. They have been pushed to limits they never knew they had, they have been asked to do things for the "greater good"--and those things don't always fit into their own personal sense of what's "right" or "fair" or "okay." For the good of their country, for the good of their families, for the advancement of freedom. It's not always that cut and dry. The reasoning behind war isn't always "good" or "right" or "best." Mankind is flawed and so are their decisions. Unfortunately, the masses are often the ones most affected by the decisions made by the few. And that is often the case with our soldiers.
They need our support. There needs to be acknowledgement of PTSD and the stigma attached to it needs to be done away with. The suffering of trauma does not mean a man or woman is now unfit to serve or is no longer qualified to do his or her job. With proper treatment, with proper understanding, with proper acknowledgement, they can begin to heal. But only if they are given the option and the ability to heal. And that is only going to happen with education. That is only going to come with those of us who have loved ones serving standing up and demanding better treatment. That is only going to come when we tell the ones we love that they are perfectly justified in however they might feel regarding what they've done and that we will do whatever it is that they need to deal with it.
Yes, I want to thank all those who have served and who are currently serving in our military. I want to thank them for making it possible for me to live safely at home in the company of my family. I want to thank them for the sacrifices they make every day so that I don't have to make those same sacrifices. I want to thank them for deciding to go overseas, to shoot bullets and to place themselves in front of bullets because someone other than them thinks it's the best solution. Seeing only the surface of what they suffer, knowing that the damage can and usually does go so much deeper makes my thanks go so much deeper.
And I do feel pride in them--in knowing that they are better people than me, that they are willing to make a decision that I couldn't.
There is a darker side to this part of our country that so many of us never see or realize. So when you offer your thanks to these men and women who have given so much of themselves, who have often sacrificed the better parts of their souls, of their humanity, please take a moment to really consider what it is you're thanking them for.
Be involved, be educated. Check in with your local VA and see if there's anything you can do to help. My mother and father-in-law go at least once a month to the VA's they can make it to and do mini-concerts. They sing and play and offer up concrete proof of their thanks. They give back.
We all tend to "give back" when tragedies such as Moore, OK happen, as it did so recently. But these men and women suffer tragedies, no matter how small, every single day. They need us to give back every single day. They need to know that they will be accepted despite the horrible things they may have done in the line of duty. For their country. For us.
To my military--you have my thanks. It runs deep. The following is dedicated to you:
Stars and Stripes
Have people really forgotten? Or do they just not care?
Has society really evolved into an entity satiated by the by the lure of the material,
by lust and instant gratification?
They scream about speech and rant about religion and demand the retention of rights,
yet how conveniently they forget....
A finger pricked by Ross’s spike stains the stripes red--stripes shredded by shrapnel and ripped by rifles.
And when the dark backed down to the dawn of another day the blazing sun revealed the blood-soaked snow and the horizon rang with the wails of war.
And when the sun retreated, the stars circled ‘round in the twilight leading thousands to a destiny of death, a price paid.
Given that price, how dare they?
Flooded in a torrential downpour, limp and lifeless, forgotten by the selfish need to dodge the drops that may dampen their Dolce.
Razed to naught but dust as maniacal laughter rings through the haze of smouldering smoke, the ashes carried away by an unnoticed wind.
Covered heads line the streets as the anthem goes unheard.
Respect, like chivalry, is dead.
They say the stars shine bright in a desert sky.
And the blood of our brothers still stains stripes in the sand.
Who cares?
After all, it’s just a flag.
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